People who say sadness doesn’t hurt physically apparently never experienced feeling so sad. I’ve felt it in my legs, my jaw, my head, my quivering lips, aching eyes, and my aching chest. It hurts my chest the most because it literally feels like your heart is in pain.
anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “not to you”
(Source: whoredinarygirl, via fhsb2992)
*favorite character dies*
*riots ensue, entire cities burn, endless screaming, sudden spike in Ben & Jerry sales*
dammit not again
do you ever get so frustrated with a video game that you are no longer rational and you start literally jumping into pits because maybe thats the fucking solution to this bullshit of a dungeon puzzle
I JUST SERVED A CUSTOMER AND THEY WERE PURCHASING A CUCUMBER AND THEY WENT
“It’s for Valentine’s Day”
“You must be lonely?”
THEY REALISED WHAT I MEANT AND NOW I’M SAT WITH A COMPLAINANT FORM IN FRONT OF ME.
Oh god it’s going around again
One of my best friends, ladies and gents.
no but guys
someone told our professor that i had a fantastic pick up line and they made me tell her
DO YOU KNOW
HOW AWKWARD IT IS
TO LOOK YOUR PROFESSOR IN THE EYE AND SAY
“I MAY NOT GO DOWN IN HISTORY BUT I’LL GO DOWN ON YOU”
“I’M GOING TO TRY THAT ON MY HUSBAND”